10 Times Vince McMahon Destroyed Himself For Our Pleasure

Trying to describe Vince McMahon using actual literal human words is like trying to catch a tsunami in a bucket. The man defies comprehension. For us fans who aren't allowed through the doors at Titan Towers, a truly fascinating legend has been created down the years. We've all heard the stories from a who's who of credible sources, and while some of them are hard to believe you just do because he's Vince McMahon. There's nobody like him alive today.

Since being outed as WWE's Commander-in-chief way back in 1997, the character of Mr McMahon has been all over the product for the past two decades. Speaking in terms of 'nonsense entertainment per segment' alone, Vince McMahon may just be the most accomplished performer in the history of wrestling.

But some of Vince's best moments aren't him strutting like a peacock with cash for feathers. Turns out what Vinny is really good at is getting his ass kicked.

VKM is a billionaire septuagenarian who has spent most of his golden years putting himself through grotesque physical torture all for the approval of ravenous fans the world over. Some might say in his position he's almost obliged to, but many a boss would happily sit behind the scenes and count the zeros. Not Vinnie, though, and all credit to him. The tale goes that he would never, ever ask any of his Superstars to do something he wouldn't and he's proven that this admirable way of conducting business is certainly true with his actions.

Note: this isn't just a list of the times Corporal Grapefruits has received a humiliating comeuppance. This is about the man taking wretched physical beatings for your entertainment. Viva Vince McMahon.

10. An Unprotected KO Blow

Psychologists have spent decades wondering just what is inside Vince McMahon's head but on the September 12, 2017, episode of Smackdown Live, we got treated to a little glimpse as the Chairman was busted open hardway by a legitimate headbutt from Kevin Owens.

In the programme that culminated with Owens and Shane McMahon inside Hell in a Cell, WWE sent shockwaves around the fanbase with the stunt. After all, anyone who's a fan of Jack Gallagher, for example, should be aware that there are perfectly safe ways to delivers a sickening looking headbutt. Obviously, that's not Vince's style and backstage the SEVENTY-TWO YEAR OLD MAN reportedly told Owens to really go for it and scramble his brains. Sure, the attack also included a Superkick and a Frog Splash, but the key fact here is that Vince McMahon insisted on taking a shoot headbutt when he should not be doing that thing. Because he is crazy. And that's why we love him. 

9. Taking An F5 At 67-Years-Old

Upon his return to WWE in 2012, and before founding Suplex City, Brock Lesnar was presented as an unstoppable mercenary force unable to be contained by even WWE's top brass. And while we're here, brass doesn't get any higher in terms of WWE than ol' Johnny Grapefruits.

To demonstrate Lesnar's unpredictable fury, and also that Vince doesn't have all his ducks in a row, on January 28th, 2013, Lesnar returned to Raw after 'quitting' post-SummerSlam 2012 scooping up the Chairman and dropping him right on his sixty-seven-year-old hips.

This was to write Vince off TV for a while so that he could undergo hip surgery. Reportedly, Vince chose to take the F5 because, hell, if anything went wrong, he was going under the knife anyway, right? Absolute madness.

8. Punted In The Head By Randall

And speaking of writing people off TV for a while there's no wrestling move more kayfabe reliable for doing that than Randy Orton's Punt Kick. Even now, in a world where a DDT is a transitional move and people use Superkicks to brush their teeth, the Punt still carries weight as deadly, career-shortening super-manoeuvre.

Of course Vince McMahon's taken one! After all, the man is infamous for his backstage policy of not asking his employees to do anything that he wouldn't be willing to do himself. And in this instance it's fair to say he was more than willing to go the extra mile, the nutter.

In January 2009, Randy Orton was going through his unhinged 'most evil man in the world' gimmick before his unhinging went all-the-way. He kicked Vince in the head, and he really kicked him too. Go and watch all of the slow-motion replays. There's no faking that blow to the cranium. I guess the only thing you can say is... dayum. There was so much impact Orton's boot lace gave Vince a nasty cut on the head and there were even backstage rumours circulating of the boss getting a concussion.

7. Patricide At WrestleMania X-Seven

At the Best WrestleMania ever, fans were treated to one of the finest displays of comeuppance ever held within four ropes. After months of divorcing Linda McMahon, drugging Linda McMahon, then kissing with Trish in front of Linda McMahon (shudders), Vince finally got his at the hands of his son, as well as the foot of his broken wife.

It may not have been Vince's most savage beating, but the sight of a (never forget) publicly-traded-company CEO being whammed in the grapefruits and having a bin dropkicked into his face is pretty insane. You just know most people in his position would just sit back and count the money. We love you, Vince.

And lest any of us forget, this wasn't your standard standing Dropkick to a bin. This was Shane McMahon springboarding across the entire ring and hurtling his entire body weight into a metal object that was placed next to his father's head.

6. Blading Himself Half To Death Against The Undertaker

That's one more check in the 'things I wouldn't ask my employees to do without doing it myself column' and much like Randy's kick, Vince took the act of blading and VINCEANIZED it. That's probably the worst thing I've ever typed out. I'm going home.

In the leadup to Survivor Series 2003 Vince believed that he was being tasked by God to destroy The Undertaker. However, at Survivor Series 2003, Undertaker murdered Vince McMahon. Like properly. Right in the grapefruits.

In order to get over just how one-sided the beatdown was to be before the Kane-swerve ending, Vince bladed after literally the first punch was thrown by Taker. He bladed, and bladed deep, with blood streaming from his head all over the canvas. It was a difficult watch but further proof of Vince's commitment to self-oblivion in the eyes of the fans.

5. That Elbow Drop

Another WrestleMania, another opportunity for Vince McMahon to get himself battered for cash and not in the same way that I did in Benidorm circa 2009. The man tasked with elderly destruction? Shawn Michaels, with whom Vince McMahon tussled for almost a full year in 2006.

In the build leading to their No Holds Barred match (of course it was) at Mania XXII, Michaels and McMahon had been at war for months with Vince and Shane screwing HBK during the Royal Rumble match, screwing him at the returning Saturday Night Main Event, and inducting The Showstopper into Vince's super-exclusive Kiss My Ass club.

Naturally, Michaels picked Vince apart on the Grandest Stage Of Them All but the most ludicrous spot of all was Shawn elbow-dropping McMahon from the top of a 15-foot ladder, through a table, while Vince had a trashcan over his head. That is a Russian doll of preposterous wrestling punishments if I've ever seen one.

4. That Fall

I mean, that image isn't from the fall but it's a really good picture from the same match so I've used it OK?!

Nowadays, WWE announce tables are potentially the most poorly treated employees that Vince has as they constantly succumb to a big, sweaty, plummeting men. Perhaps Vince hates them so much because he took a really nasty tumble through one in 1999. Even though we love the man dearly, we all know he's very petty and loves to hold a grudge for ages before forgetting about it all just in time for a WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremony. In that case, expect this announce table to go in the hall very soon.

At St Valentine's Day Massacre, Stone Cold Steve Austin fought Vince inside a steel cage for the right to fight the WWF Champion at Wrestlemania XV. Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon doesn't exactly sound like a fair fight, and nor was it with Austin dissecting his boss before a baying crowd.

The most vicious spot, of course, was reserved for the Chairman as he fell from the cage wall, smashing through the aforementioned announce table. And he didn't go through the middle like most... OHHH NOOO! The announce table was positioned just a bit too far away and even though his leap backwards was more exaggerated than The Rock selling a Stunner, Vince fell right onto the lip of it, right on the corner where it's the most solid, actually legit-bouncing before the table gave way.

3. Another Fall

Most of the moments on this list were brutally enacted on Vince while he was in full Mr McMahon heel mode. Makes sense, Mr McMahon is the most ludicrously OTT villain that has never featured in an episode of Power Rangers, so it's only fitting. However, one of Vince's most prolonged ass-whuppings actually took place during the rare moments of planet-alignment when he was face.

Triple H had committed the cardinal workplace faux pas by kidnapping his boss' daughter, drugging her, and marrying her against her will. Vince was, shall we say, miffed by this. A No Holds Barred match was scheduled with the stakes being that if Vince won, Trips' marriage to his daughter would be annulled, but if HHH won, he would receive a title shot. Wrestling's mint.

The match itself lasted OVER 28 MINUTES and Vince was 54-YEARS-OLD at the time. Bizarrely, The Vinman got a large amount of offence in on The Game thanks to a well-timed delivery of weapons from Mankind, but that didn't stop him from taking a royal beating. Nine months before his son Shane plunged to the ground from the set at Summerslam 2000, Vince took a 20-foot tumble from scaffolding to an obviously concealed crashmat.

Add a pair of sledgehammer shots and a shopping trolly to the face into the mix and you've got a classic Vince cocktail.

2. The One Inside The Cell

A few entries ago we covered the fact that Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon were having a bit of a spat in 2006. That continued long after WrestleMania XXII with Vince and son Shane recruiting as many cheerleaders as they could afford to battle Michaels, who would eventually be joined by old D-Generation X comrade, Triple H.

After the spirit squad failed to stop the reuniting DX, Vince called upon The Big Show and the match was booked for Unforgiven 2006: a 3-on-2 Handicap Match with Show, Vince and Shane vs. DX inside Hell in a Cell. It did not end well for the McMahons.

Everyone bled in this match, Triple H especially, with his face looking like he'd mistaken it for a slice of toast with jam in hand at the breakfast table. Not only was Vince left soaking crimson by all the punishment, not only did he take the ultra-rare sledgehammer shot when someone actually swings it like a hammer, but he also got his head plunged into Big Show's arse crack. I feel sorry for Vince McMahon now.

1. Unprotected Chair Shots For Days

Well, since this list began with Vince McMahon doing reckless things to his own brain, it's only right that it should end the same way. A lot of Vince's employees have been tasked with taking unprotected steel chair shots to the head over the years and, well, we know how the boss doesn't like to ask of his employees something he wouldn't do himself. Why does he do it to himself? He must like the pain, the kinky bastard.

There are countless examples of Vince getting his head mullered over the years. It happened multiple times during his feud with Austin, especially at Over the Edge '98 (above), the Royal Rumble '99, and Backlash '00. He's also eaten sickening shots at multiple Manias in no-DQ matches.

Frankly, the fact that Vince McMahon is still able to walk to the ring in order to take a shoot headbutt is insane. Despite the fans' grumbling about his booking predilections, we have to at the very least show recognition for the amount of punishment he's gone through in his life, all in order to show us a good time.

The Early Years

In his teenage years, the Ontario native attended WrestleMania 6 at Toronto's SkyDome, and credits the famed Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior title-for-title clash for inspiring him to become a wrestler. The following year, Adam Copeland won an essay contest, in which the prize was free wrestling training with legendary wrestler Sweet Daddy Siki (SEEK-ee) and veteran Ron Hutchison.

He made his debut in the summer of 1992 taking part in a Battle Royal. Earlier in his career through the Ontario and Michigan-area independents, Copeland worked as Adam Impact, but by 1995 had switched to the curious moniker of Sexton Hardcastle. Together with Joe E. Legend (the future Just Joe of short-lived WWE fame), the two formed the duo of Sex and Violence.

A year later, Mr. Hardcastle received a few bites at the apple of the big time. In early 1996, he wrestled a couple of matches as an enhancement talent for WCW weekend programming, losing to both Kevin Sullivan and Meng, while working under the name Damon Striker. Later on in May of that year, Hardcastle wrestled the opening match of a WWE house show in Hamilton, ON, losing to Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly.

But for the time being, he continued to work the indy scene. Before 1996 came to a close, he and longtime best friend Christian Cage had begun teaming together as The Suicide Blondes, picking up experience together through various promotions.

A Foot In The Door

In 1997, Copeland briefly trained with Bret Hart in Calgary, during a time in which "The Hitman" was off the road recovering from knee surgery.

After a few stints working with Bret, the five-time WWE Champion put in a good word for both he and Christian with WWE officials. That November, shortly after Hart was screwed over in Montreal at Survivor Series, Copeland wrestled two dark matches at Raw tapings: one against former Canadian Football player Glenn Kulka, the other with Christian.

Shortly after, the man that was to become Edge joined a WWE-endorsed training camp headed up by Dory Funk Jr, where he and Sean "Val Venis" Morley proved to be the standouts.

Joining The Brood

After choosing the name "Edge" (which Copeland said was inspired by a radio station's name), the new star was depicted in vignettes as a malevolent and mentally-fraught street urchin, and was shown to be a voiceless loner.

He debuted on WWE TV in June 1998, defeating Los Boricuas members Jose Estrada Jr by countout, after he accidentally injured Estrada's neck on a dive to the outside. For weeks after, Edge was shown in the crowds at TV shows, sitting there sullen and still. After wrestling primarily on weekend shows for a few months, Edge was revealed as Sable's mystery partner at SummerSlam 1998, where the two defeated Marc Mero and Jacqueline.

Edge's first actual feud was with another mysterious character with an unconventional entrance, the blood-spewing Gangrel. After several weeks at odds, Gangrel was aided in the rivalry by the debuting Christian, revealed to be Edge's younger brother.

Eventually, Edge joined their cause, and the trio became known as The Brood. They later became members of The Ministry of Darkness, and took part in an infamous angle at WrestleMania 15, when they assisted The Undertaker in hanging Big Boss Man from the rafters of the arena.

The Brood later fell out of favour with The Ministry, and stood on their own as a babyface faction.

In the summer of 1999, Gangrel turned on Edge during a tag team bout, ending The Brood as we knew it. Christian stood by Edge, and Gangrel aligned with Matt and Jeff Hardy, who were coming into their own as sulking daredevils. In this period, Edge managed to hold the Intercontinental title, winning and losing the belt to and from Jeff Jarrett over a 24 hour period in late-July. But tag team action was Edge's scene at the time, with he and Christian continuing to feud with Gangrel and both Hardyz, who had taken to calling themselves "The New Brood."

Tag Team Turmoil

While Edge and his three fellow long-haired prodigies had been turning fans on to what compelling performers they were, their arrival came at No Mercy 1999, when the tandems faced off in a Ladder Match for $100,000 and the managerial services of Terri Runnels. The Hardyz won, but all four men became stars, thanks to their unrestrained performances that night in Cleveland, earning a massive standing ovation.

The Hardyz turned face shortly thereafter, and aligned with Edge and Christian, four young prospects with bright futures and considerable fanbases. They were even partners at the 1999 Survivor Series, where they lost to the contingent of Too Cool and The Holly Cousins.

In early 2000, Edge and Christian balked at a planned storyline that would've split them after WrestleMania, and instead remained together, becoming more heelish in the weeks leading up to the big event.

They, the Hardyz, and Tag Team champions The Dudley Boyz met in a Triple Ladder Match that picked up where the No Mercy Ladder Match left off, only with more chair and table-based violence weaved in. After sending Matt Hardy spiraling through a table from high above, Edge and Christian began their first reign as World Tag Team champions, while the six men would become forever associated with one another as a result of this match, and it's heralded sequels.

This new heel run for Edge and Christian led to them adopting many humorous quirks, including a pre-match spiel where they would insult the crowd, as well as a five-second pose for the benefit of those with flash photography.

They would even combine the two, making the pose something that would poke fun at whatever city they were in. The two continued to reek of awesomeness when they were joined by Kurt Angle, and the trio's over-the-top comedy made it pretty hard to boo them. Edge and Christian's irreverence fleshed itself out further in sketches with Commissioner Mick Foley, the two sides playing off of each other with genuine aplomb.

TLC & KOTR

At SummerSlam 2000, WWE improved upon WrestleMania's Triple Ladder Match by sticking the same three teams into the first ever Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match, a wild car wreck of a showcase in which Edge and Christian retained the belts.

They'd drop them a month later in a Steel Cage match to the Hardyz at Unforgiven, and blow their rematch one night later on Raw in yet another Ladder Match.

To circumvent their ability to get another rematch, Edge and Christian "brought in" two Conquistadors to challenge The Hardyz, leading to a head-spinning dual title switch in October 2000 that ended with the Hardyz holding the belts.

Edge and Christian remained a part of the Tag Team title scene, and entered 2001 with the belts, before dropping them to The Dudley Boyz at the Royal Rumble.

They'd walk out of WrestleMania X-Seven in yet another TLC match with the same opposition, with respective allies Rhyno, Spike Dudley, and Lita all getting physically involved.

After losing the gold to The Undertaker and Kane, the Brothers Awesome seemed to be set adrift, and needed freshening up. A subtle turn to the babyface side was in the offing, and Edge won the 2001 King of the Ring, defeating incumbent royal Kurt Angle in the final match.

It was in the aftermath that some minuscule friction between he and an envious Christian began to manifest.

Going Solo

During the war between WWE and the WCW/ECW Alliance, Edge defeated Lance Storm at the 2001 SummerSlam to become Intercontinental champion, despite Christian's interference nearly backfiring (or depending on your point of view, almost succeeding).

Weeks later, Christian turned on his brother, his jealousy having boiled over. Edge dropped the IC belt to Christian at Unforgiven, but won it back in a Ladder Match at No Mercy the following month.

Edge held off Christian once more in a Cage Match at Rebellion in Manchester, utilizing one of the cleverest finishes ever when he left Christian hanging from the cage by his tied-together shoelaces.

Edge's singles push continued in earnest, as he defeated Alliance defector Test at Survivor Series to unify the Intercontinental and the United States titles. A feud with William Regal ended up with Edge dropping the gold to Sir William, but he had bigger fish to fry - chiefly, fighting Booker T at WrestleMania 18 over a Japanese shampoo commercial.

Edge won the match in his virtual-native Toronto, and moved on to a scintillating series of matches with Kurt Angle. Edge's old friend won the first battle at Backlash 2002, but Edge won the right to shave his head after a thriller at Judgement Day. On SmackDown the following week, Edge won once more, polishing Angle off in a Steel Cage Match.

Injury Layoff

After the roster settled into their places following the sometimes-confusing brand split, Edge found himself on SmackDown, where he and Hulk Hogan briefly reigned as Tag Team champs.

Edge later augmented his portfolio with tremendous matches against his fellow members of the vaunted SmackDown Six. He, Angle, Rey Mysterio, Chris Benoit, and Los Guerreros thrilled audiences at PPVs and on Thursdays with incredible bouts, like his No DQ match with Eddie Guerrero, and the Tag Team title tournament final at No Mercy, pitting he and Mysterio against Angle in Benoit, in what could be the best tag team match in WWE history.

In early 2003, however, Edge's career was put on hold due to a spinal injury, requiring surgery that sidelined him for over a year.

Edge returned in the spring of 2004, although his comeback was on the Raw brand following a special shake-up. Sporting a more aggressive demeanour, Edge took down Kane in his comeback, and quickly won tag team gold alongside Chris Benoit.

At Vengeance that July, Edge won a well-regarded 27-minute match over Randy Orton to become Intercontinental champion. In the weeks after, however, fans began cooling on Edge, and he began creeping his way over to the heel side, where battles with Chris Jericho, Benoit, and Shawn Michaels followed.

He even managed to defeat "The Heartbreak Kid" at the 2005 Royal Rumble, before going on to last an eternity in the 30-man match later that night.

Rated R & Cashing-In

Not long following the Rumble, Edge's name came up in a scandal, as stories emerged that he had an affair with Lita, which caused many fans to openly boo both performers every chance they got. Perhaps spurred in part by this new notoriety, Edge won the first ever Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania 21 under a torrent of jeers.

Lita soon joined his side in storyline, capitalising on the tabloid-calibre story. Matt Hardy was brought back that summer (having been released for a time that spring), and he and Edge engaged in highly-physical matches at SummerSlam and Unforgiven, before Edge sent Matt packing from Raw in a Ladder Match at Raw Homecoming that October.

Just as Edge was feuding with Ric Flair, he diverted from that path and famously cashed in his long-toted briefcase at the 2006 New Year's Revolution. In what may be the greatest cash-in ever (depending on how you feel about Seth Rollins at WrestleMania 31), Edge brutalized a blood-soaked John Cena in mere minutes to win his first World title.

The reign lasted only three weeks, but a consolation prize awaited - a feud with Mick Foley that led to a bloody brawl at WrestleMania 22, in which barbed wire and fire were called into action.

Even without the gold, Edge was proving to be a main event-level villain.

Foley soon joined Edge's cause, and the two did their best to rain on ECW's parade when the company was revived as a brand. He took down WWE Champion Rob Van Dam on an episode of Raw that summer to capture the belt back, before turning his attention back to Cena.

Edge assaulted Cena's father (think George Mizanin with more tasteful hair and an actual pulse) en route to defeating Big Match John at SummerSlam in Cena's backyard of Boston.

Edge had the tables turned on him, literally, when he dropped the gold to Cena in a TLC match in his own Toronto home the following month at Unforgiven.

Rated RKO, La Familia & Jericho

In the fallout of his title loss, Edge forged a bond with fellow schemester Randy Orton, coming together as Rated RKO, complete with mashed up theme songs. The two defeated Ric Flair and Roddy Piper to become Raw's Tag Team champions, which they held onto through a lengthy feud with D-Generation X.

The partnership dissolved after WrestleMania 23, but that was fine with Edge, as he made tracks for SmackDown with the briefcase he'd won from Mr. Kennedy. In the familiar role of opportunistic jackal, Edge used the briefcase to cash in on wounded World Heavyweight champion The Undertaker.

In the months ahead, Edge held off challengers like Batista and Kane, before being shelved with a legitimate torn pectoral.

After returning in the main event of Survivor Series, Edge revealed that he was in what was clearly a relationship of convenience with SmackDown GM Vickie Guerrero.

He regained the World Heavyweight title at Armageddon the following month with help from Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins, to be known as his Edgeheads.

The new champion presided over a stable called La Familia, which also included Chavo Guerrero, and eventually bodyguard Bam Neely. He dropped the gold to Undertaker in the main event of WrestleMania 24, and spent much of 2008 feuding with "The Deadman", culminating in a Hell in a Cell match at SummerSlam, which Edge lost.

Opportunism continued to be the theme of Edge's career, getting inserted late into a WWE title match at Survivor Series 2008 so that he could win the belt, and later usurping Kofi Kingston's spot in an Elimination Chamber match via a pre-match attack, to become World Heavyweight champion.

Once out of the title picture by early summer, Edge migrated into a partnership with fellow villain Chris Jericho, which netted the Unified Tag Team belts, but ended abruptly when Edge tore his Achilles at a live event in San Diego.

During Edge's time away, Jericho (who was now teaming with Big Show) chastised Edge for his misfortune and apparent weakness.

Rumble Return

To the shock of everyone (Jericho especially), Edge entered into the 2010 Royal Rumble as a surprise from the number 29 spot, and won the match by throwing John Cena out.

Conveniently, Jericho won the World Heavyweight title at the Elimination Chamber three weeks later, making him Edge's ideal target for WrestleMania 26.

He was unsuccessful in his bid to capture the belt, but did help cost Jericho the gold on SmackDown nights later, by softening him up for a Jack Swagger cash-in.

Edge went on to defeat Jericho in a Cage Match at Extreme Rules, but turned heel again shortly thereafter.

He spent his summer failing in World title opportunities, while helping to battle the insurgency that was The Nexus.

Edge then set his sights on World Heavyweight champion Kane, and resorted to holding Paul Bearer hostage at one point in order to secure title matches. He eventually regained the belt at TLC in a four-way Ladder Match that also included Rey Mysterio and Alberto Del Rio.

Retirement (Or So We Thought...)

In 2011, Edge defended the belt successfully against Dolph Ziggler (backed by Edge's ex-flame Vickie) at the Royal Rumble, and in a match the next month.

Come WrestleMania 27 in Atlanta, Edge held off Royal Rumble winner Del Rio in order to retain the belt, and was slated to face him in a rematch at Extreme Rules, but real life sadly intervened.

A week following WrestleMania, an emotional Edge announced his retirement from professional wrestling, due to a diagnosis of cervical spinal stenosis. He vacated the World Heavyweight title and, as something of a last hurrah, he helped Christian overcome outside interference in a Ladder Match at Extreme Rules to win the belt.

A year later, Edge was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame by Christian, capping off two decades of following childhood dreams, and excelling beyond perhaps even his own ambitious imagination.

Adam Copeland lived the life every die hard wrestling fan covets, ascending to the top of the business, an emphatic personal touch evident in everything he did.

And now, he gets to live that dream life all over again after the most sensational return during the 2020 Men's Royal Rumble match.