CM Punk's A-List Wake-Up & Chelsea Green's Playboy Past: Ten Things You May Have Missed In Wrestling This Week

I don't think I'm being controversial when I say WWE Raw is, well, pretty bad these days.

It has been steadily decreasing in quality for some years now, with the COVID-19 pandemic and move to the Thunderdome seemingly accelerating that process.

There have been some terrible matches, promos and segments of late, but what happened between Shayna Baszler and Alexa Bliss in the last segment of this past Monday's episode may very well be the absolute worst of all-time.

And think of the ground that covers.

Katie Vick, Mae Young giving birth to a hand, 'Rosie' versus 'Donald', Dr. Heiny, Trish Stratus barking like a dog - all of them awful, yet somehow not as cringe-worthy as whatever the hell that was.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that this sort of stuff still sees air, since this week former WWE writer Matt McCarthy spoke about how Vince McMahon would bring up Katie Vick as a piece of misunderstood genius many years after it was unfortunately unleashed on the world.

I mean, really, what can you even do?

Well, you can try and take your mind off the depressing deterioration of WWE's flagship with this week's Ten Things You May Have Missed.

It'll put a smile on your face, pal.

10. Protecting The Game

WWE.com

First up this week, we've got a story that comes from Trevor Murdoch via Cultaholic's own Tom Campbell.

The former World Tag Team Champion was a guest on Desert Island Graps this week, talking about his career, NWA Title match with Nick Aldis and, naturally, the three matches he would take with him to watch if he was stranded on a desert island.

It's a fascinating listen and well worth going out of your way to check out, if you haven't already.

Trevor told many interesting stories, including one about Triple H asking him and his partner Lance Cade for backup, should a potentially volatile situation occur at a WWE house show.

This was during the time period that the New Age Outlaws, Billy Gunn and Road Dogg, had a lot of heat with The Game, blaming him for their WWE departures years earlier while talking trash about him in public forums.

This particular house show was taking place in the same town that the Outlaws were booked for an autograph session, and there were rumours that they could hijack the WWE show, hop the barrier and attack The Cerebral Assassin.

Murdoch and his partner received their instructions, should that occur, from the locker room leader himself:

“The problem with that is, as soon as those guys came through the crowd, people would have popped because they'd have thought it was part of the show. 

As soon as they saw those guys climb over the railing and begin kicking the sh*t out of Hunter, they would have thought it was part of the show so nobody would have done anything. Hunter would have just been by himself trying to fight off two guys, and people would have thought: 'Oh look, this is so cool!'.

So Hunter tracks me down and goes, 'Where's that partner of yours? I need to talk to you both. We're expecting some kind of grand advice about our match but he goes,'Are you two watching my match tonight?'. We're young guys so we're telling him of course we're watching his match, we watch him every night.

'I want you guys at the curtain and I want you watching my whole match. The minute you see those guys, you hit that f**king ring, and you proceed to start kicking their f*cking ass'".

9. Return Of The Original Belt Collector

WWE.com

The comparisons between AEW and WCW are there for all to make.

They're on TNT. They have many former WCW stars on their roster. And their show replicates the energy and excitement that fans felt during the first couple of years of Nitro during the Monday Night Wars.

More fuel could have been added to the 'AEW is the new WCW' fire if the company had managed to bring in a wrestler/manager act from WCW's past.

Sonny Onoo was a guest on Perched on the Top Rope and spoke about his recent visit to AEW, why he didn't second Yuji Nagata during his Dynamite appearance and how Tony Khan supposedly wanted to bring in another legendary Japanese star.

"We met with some of their bookers like Arn Anderson and Dean Malenko. I was in Florida for other business and when I found out Yuji was going to be there, I made it so I was there at the same time. I was willing to help. It's their call. I think it was a missed opportunity, but they didn't ask. They knew I was there. Who knows, they might be saving me for [something else]. 

When AEW first started televising stuff, Tony Khan did contact me and we were trying to work something out to bring in Ultimo Dragon. At that point, I was going to be on camera with him and manage him. Pandemic hits and he got stuck in Japan. Every time Yuji has been on camera, I was with him. I think it might have been a missed opportunity, but it's not my call".

Dragon, at 55-years-old, is still going strong in his homeland, where he works for the Dragon Gate promotion.

A match between himself and the new, self-styled Belt Collector Kenny Omega would be a natural.

8. A Friend Of The Refs

WWE.com

Former WWE referee Mike Chioda was answering questions on Monday Mailbag this week and spoke about which performers were best at hitting their time cues for television.

Hitting cues is, obviously, very important, because if something is mistimed it can throw the whole show out of sync and lead to matches or segment getting trimmed down (and sometimes cut altogether).

Chioda was asked about whether anyone had missed their cue to 'go home' and finish a match, bringing up a couple of superstars whose tenure and status afforded them the luxury.

As the official pointed out, however, doing so had consequences and resulted in some heat.

“[That happened] all the time. As long as we went off the air – when they started doing the [WWE] Network it wasn't such a tight situation when you had to hit your cue to get off there. When you did Raw, pay-per-views, stuff like that a lot of guys would be hot because if it was the match before the main event and they killed their time for the main event that would stink because you were going off air.

"The Undertaker, John Cena – he was the best at hitting his times – but there were times they were like 'We're going extra' so when they did go extra in the main events and if they went an extra five minutes or something like that it would cost the company, I think, something like fifty to a hundred thousand dollars for extra time. For taking that extra five to eight minutes and for you to not hit that time and cost the company fifty to a hundred thousand dollars or whatever it was. But I know it was minimum like fifty thousand."

Thankfully, Big Match John was always happy to take the heat for taking more time himself.

"If John Cena was like 'Screw it' or certain guys were like 'We're getting this in' because they wanted to build up the match. They didn't have much time because the matches prior to the main event went too long – they didn't know how to hit their cues or their times. Sometimes I'd be like ‘Hey man, we've gotta go home, we gotta go back home now' screaming 'I'll take the heat, I'll take the heat'. The ref would get heat but then guys like John Cena or certain other guys would take the heat for it, saying 'Look don't blame him because he told me, I heard him, he gave me the cues, I got the cues, and I thought we just needed a little more time".

Did Cena really hear the ref, or was he calling spots SO FREAKING LOUDLY that he missed the instructions?

7. A Million Dollar Lie?

WWE.com

On last week's Ten Things, we looked at Ted DiBiase's petition to get his WWE Title 'reign' officially recognised by WWE.

This week, his son Ted Jr. was making headlines (more like bylines) speaking about his former tag team partner and current AEW star/EVP Cody Rhodes.

The Million Dollar Kid was responding to a story The American Nightmare told some years ago about what he described as the 'worst' match of his life, a six-man where DiBiase Jr. was involved in an apparently botched finish.

The story that Cody told had DiBiase hunting out the referee after the fact, saying 'Where's the referee? He was trying to f*ck on me!', the odd phrasing puzzling Vince McMahon, who was seated in the Gorilla Position.

Ted Jr. sought to set the record straight when speaking to Wrestlezone.com:

"Look, I'm just going to say this - that dude will say something and beat a dead horse with it. I may have said 'he tried to f*ck me', but I don't know where he got the 'he tried to f*ck on me'. Sorry, I'm trying not to curse in front of the kids, but look, that dude knows how to blow something up. I think it's hilarious and it's probably a shot at me, but he'd do that all of the time. 

He'd make something up that somebody said and scream it non-stop in the locker room, and then everybody would adopt it. So, I was pissed because I did kick out. You can go back and watch it, but we had a meeting that day where [they told us] 'The referees are going to count you out if you don't kick out!'.

I did kick out, and I don't remember his [the referee] name, but anyway, I was hot [about it]. I was pissed, I said a lot of cuss words when I came through there, but Cody can tell a story. He can fabricate one too [laughs]".

A wrestler exaggerating something in order to get over at someone else's expense?!?

Perish the thought.

6. The Empress Unleashed

Weirdest social media interaction of the week goes to Asuka and Batista, who bonded(?) over a haunting photoshop that the Empress of Tomorrow posted.

The hybrid of Asuka/Batista caught the attention of Big Dave, who said he needed to process it for a while, before coming back later to write that he had processed it and that Asuka had permission to 'use' his body.

Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners...

5. Stephanie The Ally

WWE.com

Last week we brought you the story of Stephanie's infamous slapping abilities being used to good effect on recently released announcer Tom Phillips.

For balance - and because it seems appropriate during Pride month - we'll explore the kinder side of the Billion Dollar Princess this week.

NXT and 205 Live superstar Jake Atlas spoke about coming out to WWE's Chief Brand Office, an interaction that was filmed for Celebrity Undercover Boss (Atlas was then an unsigned indie wrestler and didn't know he was speaking to McMahon).

Appearing on WWE's The Bump, Atlas said:

"I wasn't an 'out' performer before I met Stephanie. Meeting Stephanie undercover and not knowing it was Stephanie was so much better and helpful in a way. I don't know if I would have been able to talk to her if I knew it was Stephanie.

Meeting Stephanie and coming out to her…I mean, I came out to one of the most powerful people in professional wrestling. [After filming] I was a mess, and I was crying, and she hugged me. 

But I took a moment to myself and said if I was able to have this conversation and be open and authentic, to again, one of the most powerful people in pro wrestling, then I can do anything that I set my mind to. I can be honest, I can be open, and I can be successful. I’m so grateful for that opportunity".

Between Atlas coming out, Sonya Deville being openly gay and other wrestlers from different companies feeling confident enough to express their LGBQT leanings, it's heartening to see how far the industry has come within the last few years.

4. Schmuckback

WWE.com

Paul Heyman has long been an open and audible advocate for wrestlers he believes has talent and potential.

From his early days in WCW, to ECW, WWE and beyond, Heyman is not shy when it comes to letting people know who he sees as Paul Heyman Guys.

One former client of his that he didn't believe in, it turns out, is Ryback.

During a virtual meet-and-greet, Heyman was asked what talent he worked with that he knew wouldn't become a big star, singling out The Big Guy by saying 'Ryback. Would you like to know why Ryback? Because he was a schmuck'.

Naturally, the similarly outspoken Ryback responded, tweeting out:

Thanks for the mention today @HeymanHustle Still a bit sore I turned you down after that sweet kiss and proposal on your end. Don’t make me show up at SummerSlam and show you and your boy how to get over organically as a baby face.

I think Roman's doing fine. 

3. The King Of Ribs Strikes Again

WWE.com

We all love a good Owen Hart rib story and it seems like every week a new example of wrestling's greatest prankster's work comes to light.

This week, a Twitter user shared pictures of a disgruntled looking Ahmed Johnson from a July 15, 1995 Houston, Texas house show, explaining that the former Intercontinental Champion looked so annoyed due to a joke that Owen had played on him while he was in the ring.

During what was actually Ahmed's first WWE match, Hart apparently commandeered the arena's PA system and began playing Mark Morrison's classic 'Return of the Mack' in a bid to throw him off his game.

Based on the photographic evidence, it looks like The Rocket succeeded.

2. The Future Of Playboy?

WWE.com

What's a recently released WWE superstar to do?

Chelsea Green hinted at her future plans during a recent edition of her Green with Envy podcast, itself a new venture started during post-WWE life.

Green mentioned how she had been approached by someone at Playboy about the two parties working together, but not before she told the story of her audition for the magazine (which no longer exists) some eleven years ago.

According to Chelsea, the tryout was a very positive experience:

"I get changed into my outfit, I put my lip gloss on, I've got my eyeshadow, my skinny little eyebrows going on, and I have my heels on. I decided to go for a little hot, hot pink bra and undies set, and I thought I looked like the f*cking cat's meow. I was like, 'There's no way they won't choose me'.

You go in, there's a couple of people sitting behind a desk with screens – they're obviously looking at the shots as they come up… You go in and it's a photoshoot, plain white backdrop. You basically tell them a little bit about yourselves, tell them what you like to do and why you love Playboy, and why you wanna do it and you pose.

It was kind of a very normal casting call. I will say, I don't believe I got fully naked – I did take my top off, obviously, but I don't remember taking my underwear off. At the time, I was like 20 years old, whatever – I loved my boobs! I had zero issues with my body and I’ve played sports my whole life, so I was in shape and stuff even though I was eating Cheetos for lunch in college".

She went on to talk about what the future may hold for her relationship with playboy, after a company representative got in touch with her following her WWE release:

"I totally feel like we connected, he had such a great vibe about him, and he kinda enlightened me to what 2021 and future Playboy looks like – which is not the brick-and-mortar stuff. It is the digital side things, and the influencing side of things, and blogging, vlogging, hosting, podcasting, all that kind of stuff that they didn’t have before that they want to expand Playboy into. 

I do feel really positive about the fact that in the future – and maybe it's not in 2021, maybe it's at the beginning of 2022, we're not sure, but Chelsea Green might be the future of Playboy".

So make fun of Zack Ryder for collecting dolls all you want (and I will), but the man is engaged to, potentially, the future of Playboy.

1. CM Punk's A-List Wake-Up

Warner Bros.

There's no other way to sign off on this week's ten things than with the story of the late actor Robin Williams attacking a sleeping CM Punk, only for Punk to get up, chase him down and begin an impromptu wrestling match while he was staying at friend and Rancid frontman Lars Frederiksen's house.

The Straight-Edge Superstar relayed the story of the unbelievable encounter during an appearance on the Wrestling Perspective Podcast.

"I never ever tell this story because Lars was very good friends with Robin Williams. There was one time I was sleeping upstairs in Lars' house and, I like to sleep, ladies and gentlemen. To this day, if I don't have to get up and do anything – I don't got to set an alarm – I'm a free spirit. Do you know what I mean? I don't got planes to catch. I did a whole lifetime of that, so I just sleep until I wake up, and I was doing that at Lars'. 

I woke up because somebody had jumped on top of me while I was sleeping and as I wake up and I turn around I’m like, 'It’s f*cking Robin Williams'.

 So, what do you do? Right? This is the first time I've ever met Robin Williams and I think, as the story goes, he was just like, 'Oh, the wrestler, he's sleeping upstairs right now?'. Lars was like 'Yeah', and Robin, being who Robin is, is like, 'F*ck yeah, let's Jimmy Superfly Snuka this motherf*cker!'. So he runs up and he splashes me in the bed. I wake up and I immediately think it’s Lars, so I just start charging after him.

Halfway through running down the stairs, I'm like, 'I'm pretty sure that’s Robin Williams', but I don’t give a f*ck, I'm going to get this motherf*cker now. I half-ass tackle Robin Williams. He's trying to run out into the street, and then I just picked him up and I'm airplane spinning Robin Williams. I just put him down and he's like,‘I got to go’, and just f*cks off and runs away. 

I'm standing there just like, 'That's the damnedest way to wake up'. I just remember walking back in the house and being like, 'Was that Robin Williams?' 'Yeah'. ‘Alright, cool'".